Rules of Colorado , Arizona, Texas, Wyoming , Montana , Utah , Idaho , Washington State and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I
drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-80 & I-90 go east and west, I-25 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have
$250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah . . We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat . .. IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!
Don't forget I-70. The one thing I like about colorado is we get atleast 300 days of sunshine and it's not blazing hot all the time. We have real seasons too. When it snows, it's gone the next day. Don't like the weather? Wait an hour it'll be better. I can see from horizon to horizon. The east coast is pretty and green but when I drive down a corridor of forest I feel closed in. Rochester was nice, more open areas. Hartford, CN was nice too . As for the expensive car thing, just yesterday I snapped a pic of a Mercedes Mclaren SLR($500k) on Monaco and I-25. We see alot of exotics here and concepts on the road, like the Challenger before it was built. This is because we have the highest paved road on the world and they all bring thier concepts here to test for high altitude tuning and testing. On Fed, and 52nd I saw a bugatti Veyron a month before it released for sale, it was followed by two blacked out chase vans. Ferraris and Bentleys are as common as trucks here for some reason. I think people from Cali are tired of mudslides and getting their multi million dollar houses burned down. They sell there and use the equity to by expensive cars here.
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