kinda funny. I actually do pushups and crunches with my toddler, and squats with wife when she's not pregnant or drunk. My kid counts out the pushups... which makes it hard because he keeps saying "five... five... five... five..." over and over which makes it hard to get to 20.
If you know what russians are (sit in a V then touch the floor on either side of your hips about 50 times) you can do these with toddler as well... holding him/her above your waist and touching their feet to the floor on alternating sides (while sitting with your feet off the floor and knees bent). Be careful not to make them sea sick or spit up on you though... that's nasty and can be a deterrent to further workouts.
Lastly for cardio... set them loose outside and try to keep them from running into the street... or better yet... put them in a shopping cart at the top of a hill, let go.... count to 3, then chase...!!!!! It's really fun.
oh yeah... for curls... this works great for 2 years olds... hold them by one ankle upside down and do curls that way standing up...
My wife informs me that some cardio excersizes are what actually cause those weird talking weights to appear.... I'll have to try to figure out what she means exactly.
here's a good workout.
get hold of canuck. tie him to a chair. grab his left leg and pull as hard as you can until it separates from his hip joint. keep pulling until it dangles limply. apply the same procedure to the right leg.
a similar exercise can be used involving the arms.
then cover his testicles in a paper bag and punch repeatedly until you work up a good sweat, after which cut them off with a bread knife.
finally, jump up and down on his head for five minutes until you go completely anaerobic.
not only is this good exercise, but it solves one of the big problems of the 21st century.
you can buy my video "Get Fit with Qlanettint" at reputable stores.
Dumb video aside, I have a question for the our Yanks present:
Seeing as how today is your Inauguration Day, I was told by a colleague yesterday, that on this day, the election winner is NOT determined by when he's sworn in.....rather, it's determined by the time: 12:00 noon. He said that the President-elect automatically becomes President at that time, sworn in or not. He could take the oath at 11:00 a.m. or 2:00 p.m. EST, but it don't matter-----at high noon, he's the Prez.
American presidents come, American presidents go.
If Obama succeeds in defusing international tension the arms industry will have him assassinated.
If he keeps a US presence in Afghanistan, he will be a target for half the world.
If he ignores powerful lobbyists, even his own party will desert him.
If he makes one injudicious comment, the press will crucify him.
Good luck USA! I truly hope that one man can sort out all the problems, but I have my doubts.
I'm posting from an internet cafe in Paris. Everybody is gettinig excited about watching the inauguration here soon.
They will then go home and beat their wives/fiddle their tax returns/download pornography/shave their poodles - whatever.
Jesus! A fat guy just brushed past where I'm sitting and farted right in my face! It doesn't smell of garlic either, more like rotting rat organs.
The French are so sophisticated. Now he's deliberately farting onto a table where he's sitting with his mates. What a guy! What a tosser!
Ah, Paris, city of light, romantic capital of Europe..... and some 250 pound cretin breaks wind up your nostril. It's the Obama syndrome.
Just got done watching the Iniggeration of our new pres....did any body else cach Uretha Franklin sing? She slit up the word country in two. It sounded like she sang..... my cunt....[long pause]......tree
Not cool man. He is your president, like it or not. Give him a chance to prove what an inexperienced socialist he really is, and hope and pray he surprises us. Not liking him for his politics is fine. Not liking him cause he's half black, just makes you an ignorant racist.
We have a new President and new hope.
He has a HUGE job in front of him. One I don't envy.
Hopefully he can help our country grow, and move past the last leader's mistakes and do as he said, help America lead again. I wish this for us and for the whole world.
I'm old enough to remember a time when America was looked upon as a great leader. I would like to see that positive attitude towards us again.
So today is Obama's inauguration, and I couldn't be happier. Seriously.
Just the fact that I'll never have to see that sniveling little monkey-cunt
Bush's face again, EVER, makes me want to pull down my pants and give myself
ass to mouth. For 8 fucking years I have kept my fucking mouth shut on my
website about politics and what a complete and utter failure at being a
human being I think Bush was, and how much I despised his inbred face.
It honestly made me angry hearing his voice to the point where I would
spontaneously piss myself. Just looking at him nearly makes me want to shit
my pants, convulse and choke on my own vomit... and believe me when I was in
Thailand I would pay to have girls do that to me, but in a good way. I
learned long ago that politics is the easiest and quickest way to piss off
your people so I didn't bother talking about it. It's funny, as the years went
on I didn't even have to talk about what a douche and total loser I think
the guy was, since people eventually woke up to the fact. I don't know if
that should make you feel good or not, but at least something has changed,
right?
Yes, we all know America is so screwed, and has been raped over and over in
the anus with an AIDS infected spiked baseball bat the last few years, and
it honestly makes me sad since I love America.
America (fuck yeah!) invented the internet, anal sex, the big mac, ass to
mouth, and so many other amazing inventions that the world would be a
sorrier place for not having. I'm actually being 100% serious right now. So
while the world is totally screwed, everyone is losing their jobs, people
are being kicked out of their homes, and a zillion different wars are going
on, what he hell do we have to look forward to in the future?
Well I'll fucking tell you - The coolest fucking president ever. Obama is
the fucking man because he is the real deal, and a real person, not a fake
cowboy bought and sold a million times over by Daddy and his friends money.
He also knows Karate, speaks seven languages, and has a ten inch fucking
cock. How do I know this? Well, actually I don't, but the fact that he has
admitted to doing coke and smoking pot makes him cool in my books. Also
being bi-racial is good for the country since all the gay men and bisexuals
love all that bi shit. I have a lot of respect for anyone who grew up poor,
and can actually pronounce the world NUCLEAR. It automatically just puts us
all 100 points ahead of the curve from where we were.
I have no idea what the future holds, and it's going to be one hell of a
time shoveling ourselves out of this shit pile that we're currently in, but
it's going to be a whole hell of a lot easier doing it with someone who is
intelligent and competent in charge of the button. Not to mention having to
see someone's face every day for the next 4 years that isn't fucking retarded
just makes me feel a whole hell of a lot better, how about you? I think
America and the world is gunna be alright, eventually. Yes, I drank the
fucking kool-aid, and I fucking loved it!
On second thought, my prior post here might have been a bit too subtle for your blunt perception.
To clarify, in my opinion you in fact represent only the baser elements of this site, and certainly no better as regards the American public. You are certainly a fine example of elements that currently seem to have floated to the surface here in Glumbert, as solid detritus typically does in septic systems.
You are fully entitled to your opinions, but your method of expressing them is gratuitously vulgar and coarse. While perhaps more thoughtful than one or another of the current crop of foul posters, you hardly represent anything close to "average" or "typical" in America.
I simply wanted to note this for the many Glumbert "members" living elsewhere. This crass contributor does not represent me. Even if I were to hold a similar opinion to his, I would not want to be placed anywhere near him in any category.
1. The video made me laugh. Used to do similar things with my own years ago, but never thought of it as exercise. Can't wait for the beard/eyebrow sequel.
2. I was unexpectedly emotional at several points during today's inauguration. There is again a sense of hope for the future despite the messes we are in today. I believe Obama has truth and idealism working hard inside him as he learns the realities that up to now have only been abstract subjects that fed his campaign...I ardently hope he is able to keep those virtues over time, as the presidency is an insanely heavy burden and tends to wear down the optimism of its incumbents quickly. At this moment he has most all of America ready to support him, and anxious to do so. But the time for "speechifying" is over....the clock has begun - there is an expectation, perhaps unrealistic on the part of many, that Obama will produce significant change quickly. Personally, I don't expect instant change, but I do expect regular communication, transparency, and steady movement toward correction on several fronts....a large order, to be sure.
I did not vote for him - underexposed and under-experienced, I thought. But he is my president, and he has my fervent support and best wishes.
Chaz... how could you support him? You may see me putting down one politician or another from time to time, but in the end, I think the same about all of them: promises, to them, are nothing but a means to gain the power of the presidential position. As of the last few months, 'politics' has been a word I used to refer to something that just couldn't be simple, simply had to be debated and squabbled over until it wasn't even worth it, something that was a lost cause.. Even if a President in today's times actually WANTED to stay true to their world, I understand that it is extremely difficult, if at all possible. At one point or another, it seems, the world itself, and all its problems, will break a leader down, making them nearly unable to do their job, if, again, at all possible. The world I have envisioned twenty, maybe thirty years from now, when my generation has lived half their life, and yours has likely passed, is a sad place. Sometimes I wonder if it will even last that long. Through all of this, I find it hard to remain optimistic that Barrack Obama and his "change" will have actually helped.
redshit......you barely earn a response. Dear boy, you have neither the depth of thought nor the gift of time needed to evaluate world events....in fact, I suspect you have trouble finding your underwear before coming down for breakfast.
You do, however, have a certain gift for words, at least as compared with so many others of your uninitiated age.
Your "generation" will deal with whatever it matures to as a society, and while you have the pleasure of criticism from a "have done nothing so far" platform (a bit like Obama's), your words necessarily ring hollow, lacking as they do any meaningful substance.
I support Obama as you should...neither of you have a record of failure because neither of you have as yet done anything meaningful.
As re: you......I really don't care that much.....sooner or later you will grow up, and I can hope for sooner and wish you well, regardless.
As re: Obama......the stakes are just a smidge higher, most would agree.
I had a long thing, several paragraphs, typed up in response, but I don't think it's worth it, really. The whole thing would have been denials. I'm still wondering what you mean about me not having the depth of though to have an opinion on the world's current direction, and what exactly you meant by me having a "gift of words".
Lastly, I'm scratching my head about you using obahtafucur's insult there. "Redshit". I didn't pay much attention to the beginning of your response, so I didn't notice that until the end. And I have to say, coming from you, it really pissed me off.
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