F#*k Planet Earth

+2
Views:37,828
First:doot
3 months ago
3 months ago
Cidd, are you happy now? A First poster? Can we quit with the first reply to first post and first reply to any post? You are a bona fide first poster, and my congratulations. You are a true viking now. A strong and noble warrior, deserving of our respect.

Free
3 months ago
scheise cidd! You are ein cunning fiend!!
3 months ago
thank you
3 months ago
for you freetobe1962 I will...but it is such a rush....but I like you and your posts and sence I'm running out of ways to spell cidd I will hand the tourch to another dumb ass.but I want to go on record that I'm the best first replyer the world has ever seen!

*it was only my way of showing that the whole"FIRST"thing is a dumb game that gives losers a chance to be first at something in life*

yours,
cidd aka cid aka sid aka sidd
3 months ago
cidd

First and foremost, I recognize your firstness, you rule the land of firsting, you can let it go now as first seems to be burned into my screen! You've made your point! lol, your comments are much better when they are more than one word!
3 months ago
"land of fisting"?!? I hope I got that wrong...
3 months ago
You definitely don't want your flight diverted to "the land of fisting".............the lay over is a bitch!
3 months ago
Damn lol. The land of fisting comment I noticed just before getting off this crappy video made it all worth while. I never thought fisting would make me laugh so hard.
3 months ago
It's only funny when it's happening to someone else...........
3 months ago
Cidd, you are interesting and lively.
3 months ago
Bitte schon.
3 months ago
Sie deutscher adolphvanker ist krank. Er ist jealous auf Anglos sprechen "F**K", keinen deutsch sprechen "Scheise".
3 months ago
Herr Pimplegrease! Ve meet again! Do you know anysink about armadilloes?
3 months ago
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

And who is the master of this quote??? There will be a quiz later...
3 months ago
George Carlin
3 months ago
Actually the deuce was right, Carlin merely quoted the 1st part of it. The entire piece is here. http://www.trans4mind.com/counterpoint/moorehead.shtml

And in the interest of keeping w/the theme, it's a SHTML site!!!
3 months ago
Oops! My bad. (a phrase I learned here on Glumbert, and seems appropriate here!). I'll try harder next time!
3 months ago
Come on every one ENGLISH please it GLUMBERT not LA GLUMBERTSTEICHAN
3 months ago
Fuck you in German
3 months ago
That would be "fick Dich"
3 months ago
sinkingboat fuck you in ENGLISH
3 months ago
How will I ever become bi-lingual, what's german for "what's german"?
3 months ago
Was ist deutsch?
3 months ago
The piece was actually called "The Paradox of Our Age", and was written by Dr. Bob Moorehead
3 months ago
TMFI
3 months ago
RichTD, I stand corrected!

Later!
Free
3 months ago
crap
3 months ago
there's alot of that going around.
3 months ago
you should know
3 months ago
planet
LA GLUMBERTSTEICHAN??
That would be what - Esperanto?
Try a little tolerance please. Adolf has been around for a while, and some of his English is better than that of a few Glumberters. I'm sure he doesn't mind your criticism, but if he does, I imagine he'll let you know!
Take it easy.
3 months ago
tolerance only breeds assholes
3 months ago
i take that back

how about this

Mono Für Alle!:Hallo Verfassungsschutz
by Mono Für Alle!

Hallo... Verfassungsschutz
Hier bin ich
Habt Ihr mich schon... In euren Akten stehn?
Nein? Dann wird es aber Zeit
Den ich darf euch... nicht entgehn
Ich seh vielleicht ganz ungefährlich aus
Deswegen falle ich euch auch überhaupt nicht auf

Doch irgendwann... da werde ich auf euch schießen
Mit einem Gewehr in meiner Hand.
Ja irgendwann da muss ich wohl auf euch schießen
Denn dieses ist auch mein Land.

Und Ihr braucht nicht glauben die Gesellschaft sei so kompliziert
Weil es sind nur wenige die bestimmen was passiert

Und irgendwann da werde ich auf sie schießen
Mit einem Gewehr in meiner Hand.
Ja irgendwann ... da muss ich wohl auf sie schießen
Denn dieses... ist auch mein Land.
Denn dieses ist auch mein Land.
Denn dieses ist auch mein Land. (ja)

Ja irgendwann da werde ich auf euch schießen.
Denn ich habe keine andere Wahl.
Ja irgendwann da muss ich wohl auf euch schießen
das ist traurig aber wahr.

it's a pretty good song
3 months ago
thanx referee arse and ill try mellow out my responses for some of the glumberteers with seniority and my comment was actually to pimp but any sorry to any i offended with exception to sinkingboat you can still fuck off in ENGLISH
3 months ago
Good man planet.
3 months ago
cidd come back and write, please.
3 months ago
The lion looks like Letterman after he's masturbated.
3 months ago
I am not sure I want to know why you know how Letterman looks when he masturbated...

No, wait, actually I am sure I DON'T want to know!
3 months ago
i'm going to delve into this topic here. the reason i am doing so is because i can't tell anyone i know what i did last night- all my friends think the idea is repulsive. so here we go, fat-haters, racists, youth-haters, trolls, chubbies, cube-workers, and any other rnr demographics i've missed:

yesterday, i got a colonic. and boy oh boy, was it awful.

i got hooked on the idea initially because it sounded like a great spring cleaning for the insides. i was told that it makes you feel great. then when i found out it can take off a few pounds, i decided i had to do it. i've been about 3 pounds over my goal weight of and thought this could do the trick that diet and exercise have failed at lately.

so i make an appointment and go. they have me lay on my side on a table. then they make me help them stick this thing up my ass. the thing was too big. i could not deal. i yelled and screamed for something smaller, and the clinician begrudgingly went and found a littler one. ok. so we stick this new thing up my ass, and while it doesn't feel like i'm being raped viciously like the other did, it is still far, far from pleasant.

then they have me lay on my back, with this big tube in my ass. i am like, oh my god, what the hell am i doing. this is insanity. then they start with the water. yes, water, up my ass. till it's full, and very uncomfortable. then she reverses the flow and "massages" my colon through my stomach very fiercely, with her fists.

this happens half a dozen times or so. my stomach cramps repeatedly, she pounds on it like a boxer, gross things flow through the weird clinical machine i'm hooked up to. when she says, "just one more time" for the third time, i put my foot down. this is it. we need to be done. she does a crazy herbal-tea-up-the-ass trick, and pronounces us finished.

fast forward to this morning...i just sat around in pained shock, unable to tell anyone of my ordeal. now, i do not feel fresh or revived. i do not feel clean or spritely. so it's no different, and i am only 1 pound lighter. the right side of my stomach, where she beat the hell out of me, is so sore that i cannot touch it. i have to poop, but i am scared, scared of what might come out, that my body might now from this point forward be fucked up and think my ass is a place to pee out of.

i was vain. i was stupid. i paid someone $70 of my hard earned money to violate me up the ass for a long time and beat my stomach, and now i am ashamed and embarrassed. i just had to tell someone. thank you for your time.

all reply welcome as always......

**garbage your mother needs to find a new job**
3 months ago
Cidd, MUCH more gallant than I am just for trying. AssStreamer should try since he doesn't care about the neo fascist and quasi-corporate freaks sniffing aroundhis pooter...
3 months ago
Damn cidd, I hope you don't have diverticular disease, ulcerative colitis, Crohn's disease, severe hemorrhoids, blood vessel disease, congestive heart failure, heart disease, severe anemia, abdominal hernia, gastrointestinal cancer, recent colon surgery, or intestinal tumors! All of which should be checked before have a colonic!

You sure don't want to have a perforation of the abdominal wall, electrolyte imbalance, or heart failure caused by excessive absorption of water.

Just make sure you get yourself some supplements containing friendly colon bacteria, called probiotics or you'll lose more than weight!
3 months ago
that was the longest lead up to insulting someones mother that I've ever read.

Genius!
3 months ago
cid
next time call me. last year i bought a power washer from sears... 5 h.p.. this baby can take the paint off of siding. also it comes with a variety of attachments. we'll get those 3 lbs of caked on fecal matter blasted off there pronto...
total cost $35
and i'll wash off your car too
3 months ago
Anything that requires something to be stuck up my ass I would refuse, just as a general rule.

A colon clean does indeed make you feel like a different person...a homo.
3 months ago
Cidd, Honey, try some prune juice next time. It's loathsome stuff, to most people, but will clean you out, no ass reamings involved! I think you can get a whole bottle for about $3.
Just trying to help.
3 months ago
did this all happen in someone's stationwagen?
3 months ago
Mix the prune juice with some draft beer. Don't forget to grab a few of those gas station burritto's and you will be all set. Hell, you may even blow your colon out your ass. You can have someone scrape it off and then shove it back inside when they are done. Just trying to help out.....
3 months ago
that is some funny shite right there
3 months ago
Hands down the funniest video on Glumbert for a loooooooooong time!!!
3 months ago
Damn straight! That was funny as, well, fuck.
3 months ago
chucknorriss I will add that to your list of things that make you one bad motherfucker....

weinerdog your insight is whats Genius..the story is only a rip on garbage's mother.. total bulshit otherwise.

mitercut you sure know alot about whats good for an asshole..I'm impressed!

sinkingboat69 for some reason the word "pooter" makes me horny.

garbage you should call chuck...don't forget your car.
3 months ago
POOOOOOOOOTER!!!! Just joking!!!
3 months ago
Thanks cidd, this asshole has always taken care of himself, so I thought I'd share!
3 months ago
One bowl of Super ColonBlow would have done the trick.
3 months ago
Ummmmmmmm, sorry but all i gots to say is...........I like the video.
3 months ago
Hi Riz! I liked it too, maybe failed to mention that on my way down with all the other stuff to read! It was pretty funny, and if animals could talk, most likely, exactly what they would be thinking/saying! Survival of the fittest. Plain and simple, as harsh as it is.

Later!
Free
3 months ago
My problem is that every time I have a sinus scrape, a colonic irrigation kit has to be used.
3 months ago
just lost 1:58 seconds of my life
3 months ago
Perhaps you should be out trying to find it instead of posting lame, worn out phrases on the internet then. "There's 1:58 I'll never get back..." Very original, Shakespeare.
3 months ago
Had barely stopped laughing at the video when I came upon Cidd's colonic post....and started laughing all over again...what a hilarious string this has turned out to be!

It also got me to remember back a long time, when my grandmother used to think an emetic cured all ills - the first time was new to me, but the second time I knew what was going to happen, but couldn't stop her anyway. And whatever that didn't cure, cod liver oil would (ghaaaaaahhhh). And whatever that didn't cure, an enema would - I guess that's the former term for "colonic", but no one beat on my stomach, and green tea was not on the menu. Well, survived these "cures", but certainly won't volunteer to try any of them again, especially after the Cidd report.
3 months ago
fajne...

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