Please allow me to introduce myself to anyone making a visit to Glumbert for the first time. I am urbane, sophisticated and educated to a high standard. I have a couple of minor character flaws, but they are not important. Infinity/Moderator/Tyranus/Dirtbag etc are shit.
Judo is total shit!
Only the real ponces did it when I was at school.
Oh no! You're going to throw me to the ground by holding on to my pyjamas!!
The real guys did karate.
But then we worked out that if you hit them with a bit of wood or shot them in the leg with a shotgun none of them were very scary.
Seems like the first thing you need is someone willing to stand still till you've got hold of him, and then fall down convincingly when you yank on his pj's.
I couldn't even get my wife to do that, so probably wouldn't have much luck in a barroom.
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