LOL reminds me of the time a few friends of mine (back in the teen days) decided to go into a local Kroger and partake in some nitrous oxide from whip cream cans, then they started a food fight throwing stuff all over the place, that's when they found out about the big armed security guard!
Sentence, (after spending the night in jail with, as they put it "puking drunks") restitution of around $400 a piece, community service of 80 hours (picking up trash on the highway when it was 90 degrees f) drug counseling and not ever allowed into that Kroger again!
Drug counseling for NO2? Thats too funny. "Hi my name's Bob, and I'm a Whippit addict" "Hi Bob" "Ive been stealing NO2 from Kroger's for 4 yrs now...My Girlfriend wont text me anymore, my parents make me do yard work, and I got fired from McDonald's...Whippits have ruined my life" "Thank you Bob...the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem"
That's right!, one of these idiots, some weeks later, with others I didn't know, were on LSD, drove to the local municipal airport (closed at the time due to Reagan's firing of striking air traffic controllers) where their plan was to start up an airplane and let it go! Like a freaking toy or something! Fortunately these are total ignoramus's so they couldn't figure out how to start it, then one punched the plane, his fist went right through the thin skin, so they literally beat it full of holes! Then one finds an electronic device in the back and steals it. One of these fools unknowingly loses his wallet, right there in the airplane! They then proceed to a nearby field where horses are boarded, they decide to (unsuccessfully) ride bareback, one of them (who was supposed to enter boot camp the next day) gets thrown, snapping his arm below the elbow, gets up and relieves himself on an electric fence! LOL
Next day, the carnage is found and perpetrators quickly identified from id in lost wallet. The other guy with stolen "electronic device" gets scared and throws the device into a downtown dumpster, which activates it (it was an impact sensing downed aircraft location) which then gets the feds crawling all over the place looking for a crashed aircraft! The guy going into the military had to wait 6 months to get in again (the others fessed up and didn't rat him out). Rich kids all, mommies and daddies paid their way out of jail and even court, unbelievable!
miter....yet another experience that puts you beyond the range of moderate maturation.
So much enjoy your yarns......gawd, my dad and mom would have let me rot in jail before bailing me out on such charges (not that they had to money to do so in the first place, nor might I have had the unrestrained cujones to
even begin such an incredibly outrageous adventure...just conjecture, but pretty damned sure of it.)
Any sequel? Like, does any perpetrator have a later experience worth noting (prisoner, priest, pederast, punk, or prominent personality?)
Chaz, funny you should ask! Drugs ultimately took their toll on three of the four perpetrators in my airplane story.
For one perp, cocaine became his "drug of choice" (with millionaire parents it was easy) toot toot, sniff sniff, for several years, then one day, after a night of snorting up, he bent over to tie his shoe and BAM, aneurysm burst in his brain, ending a somewhat promising career in racing (SCCA sports Renault) as surgery left him with terrible vision and loss of balance. He now "drives" a padded cubicle at an Arizona lumber buying company (waiting for his inheritance)
Second perp (the wallet loser), life long drug dealer (marijuana) got busted along with two infamous brothers in a local sting....
after turning states evidence, he got off with a year in a state prison, after which he has continued his debauchery to this day (which sees him now as an extreme alcoholic fifth a day whiskey drinker) with monthly episodes of acute pancreatitis and hospitalization, he wont last another year.
The third perp (the real loser who instigated the aircraft incident and the one who took the locator device) was shot and killed some years ago breaking in to an occupied Fort Lauderdale home looking for money to buy crack. This person was previously arrested for beating a man almost to death for, again, crack money, what makes that so despicable is the man he beat was a quadriplegic in a wheel chair! (karma gunna gitcha!)
Now as for the fourth perp, he ultimately healed his broken arm and was able to pee again, went into the Navy (USS John Hancock), where he almost started an international incident in Bahrain...he was assigned with others, to an armored limo to retrieve a diplomat from the embassy during a rising anti American protest in that country, the Marines went in first to cordon off a street and hold the angry mob back, they got the ambassador and were returning when a (in his words) "raghead snatched the little American flag off the front fender of the limo, threw it on the ground and stomped on it" at the time he was standing on the foot rail of the limo holding an m14, as he passed he applied the butt of the rifle to the persons head! Causing mass hysteria and rioting! LOL He was called into the captain's office later that day and was told "before I throw you in the brig, what do you have to say for yourself" he said "well sir, I'm here to defend the flag and I did just that!" after thinking for a moment the captain said, "that's the only thing you could have said to make me change my mind, don't do that again, get out of my office and return to duty!" Ultimately this was the only one who got straightened out, he now owns a successful painting company and is a family man. Read into it what you want, he was also the only one that didn't have richie rich parents.
This story reminds of two idiots who approached me on our third day in basic training to advise me that they had some window pane (LSD) enroute from a friend via the postal service, and asked if I would be interested in tripping with them; as if it wasn't a bad enough trip already. They were gone the next week. Some people are just destined to fail by their own stupidity; the sooner they are identified and removed, the better off we all are. Which is why we should legalize drugs and let natural selection work. Far cheaper than what we're doing now, and would be far more successful in the long term.
mitercut i my brother and cousins came from privileged backgrounds., none of us are drunks drug users . My female cousins are all in areas to help the poor and impoverished. when growing up we worked from the young ages of ten , doing chores or helping poor old people ,doing chores for them . It taught us values . Yes some of my friends did stupid things but they were 13 or 14 at the time.
I'm not dissing on the "privileged" there c-man (who do you think butters my bread!). Like I said "read into it what you want". I have many friends who are from "privileged" families and about half are outstanding in their respective communities. Not to mention the difference between US family values vs Canadian family values! At 13 or 14 years of age I think it's a prerequisite to get into trouble at least once (I know I did!)
I never really got into any trouble as a teen. I had an overly developed fear of authority, so I managed to stay out of any serious trouble. I almost burnt down my woods when I was 15 or 16, but I got it under control and the PD and FD didn't have to learn about it. At 18, 19, me and a buddy would score alcohol from a friend of mine and go "camping" (drinking all night in a tent) but again, never got caught. it wasn't until I really should have known better that I ever got into any serious trouble,and that was from buying alcohol for minors (some kid I worked with and his friend) That could have ended a lot worse than it did. Spend 2 nights in Jail till I got bail $, and ended up with just a fine and community service...I'm amazed sometimes at what I let people talk me into even against my better judgment. Thats been my only run it with the law...never got into drugs, just pot a hand full of times, and Don't drink that often...over all, I think my fear of getting in trouble has managed to keep me out of quite a bit of it.
I could fill out the hole page I would like to point out 2 major things I have never stolen and have never been convicted of any crime in teens or adulthood I have been arrested but all the cases were either dismissed or and not prosecuted because I clearly should not have been charged in the first place.
When I was around 9 or 10 my friends and I would sometimes break into a closed down ************** factory you can imagine all things we found in there that any young kid would love from equipment to were they kept the ******* for ******* anyway we there for maybe the third time when all of a sudden we heard sirens and helicopters every where we were being chased by the boys in blue we all escaped and that includes a polair chopper about an hour later I couldn't help myself and took my dog for a "walk" back to the scene of the crime and was asked by two policeman had I seen anything -
No sir I haven't seen a thing.
In hind sight I now know why they went nuts. I had to edit this because I don't trust the statute of limitations.
When I was 14 my neighbour across the street wanted to talk to my father .He and his 16 year old daughter came in sat in my fathers study . I was not invited in .
After about 15 minutes which seemed like an eternity I was call in.
My father and the neighbour asked me if it was true, was I having sex with his daughter. I didn't say a word .
The girl piped up and said I made her pregnant, she had missed her period at it was all my fault ,having sex with her 12 times.
My father asked me if this was true, I acknowledged it was.
My father asked the girl did you have sex with my boy ,she said yes.
My father asked me did i use a rubber each time , I said yes I had an older boy on my baseball team get them from his fathers pharmacy.
My father then asked the girl did she have relations with anyone else . She said yes with her gardeners assistant. Boy was I relieved.
It turned out she was not pregnant and the assistant was fired anyway he was 18 . But it worked for me and started my love affair with women. The neighbour daughter continued to make love till she went to college 2 years later. When I moved to Toronto she visited me a few times.
We are still in touch she married a fellow from Ireland and lives in Saudi Arabia with her husband and children . Her husband is a petroleum chemist .
OK miter I picked up on my spelling error whole page not hole (They sound the same at least)
I knew you sounded a little too amused I think it warranted a ROTFL rather than a LMFAO. ;)
and the reason the cops went ape is that it was a pharmaceutical company which did a lot of animal testing I saw the cages and "disposal" sections amongst heaps of other cool things.
And I could probably fill out the WHOLE page with little stories of mischief that reminds me when I was 14....................... .....................and we never saw the poor little old lady ever again.
Its been another one of those busy days... So I took off my gloves, and I'm taking a break from sawing up my third landlord in as many years, and while I was working I was thinking of Miters question, and how back when I was younger and did something really bad.
I was in this small store in Kiendeinst New Hampshire, and.... well now that I think about it it wasn't that bad, and they deserved it.
I have always been a good boy, right Mom? Yes a very good boy.
I guess I should put one of my many (long) teen mischief stories up...
Family trip 1972, to the Black Hills of South Dakota, I was 15. We stayed in a little touristy "ghost town" called Rockerville. One day my Dad, trying to entertain (keep busy) his three boys, took us all rock hunting at a deserted gold mine where a mountainous pile of rocks stood for our picking (lots of rose quartz). Being the adventurous (and mischievous) person I was/am, I decided to explore the mine, where I promptly found several dozen cases of dynamite...oh shit was this little budding pyro in heaven! (OK kid in a candy store) anyway, I just had to sneak some home, for future experimentation.
Of course no way would Dad let me, so no need to even ask, just sneak it into some luggage and no one will know! I grabbed about 10 sticks and did just that. On the way home (driving in a VW van) my Mom decided she needed a boost for her legs, so she grabbed the piece of luggage that contained the dynamite! This bag fell out onto the ground at every stop, all the way back to Michigan. Being a dumb little 15 year old, I started "experimenting" with my new stash. I cut open a stick and stuffed some into a metal 35 mm film container with a fuse (not knowing about primary charges) no luck, didn't work. So I decided to go to the library and read up (sure could of used Google back then) found out about all kinds of interesting stuff on dynamite...most interesting and horrifying of which was what I learned about old "sweating" dynamite, which was how unstable it is, little pools of nitroglycerin just ready to blow up with the littlest bump (thinking of the suitcase and Mom here). Getting home and realizing that this was old and very "sweaty" dynamite, I now needed to get rid of the stuff, without blowing myself up and getting into trouble! I had also read that to dispose of it you should break it up and bury it (not the sweating kind of course) so I did, in my backyard, only telling my sweetheart (who was with us on the trip and knew everything). She was/is a "good girl" so she was giving me the business the whole time not liking anything about any of it. End of story....till....
....fast forward twenty two years, I get a call from a police detective, wanting to know if I had buried dynamite in my old backyard! After I did some heing and hawing, he told me not to worry the statute of limitations was up, three times over. So I fessed up and told him the whole story. He told me that a "past girlfriend" was so worried her whole life that she just had to tell, so someone wouldn't get blown up! My girl narced on me! Then he told me, the State Police bomb squad had evacuated the entire neighborhood and brought in the sniffer dogs! Not finding anything, the detective wanted to know how I disposed of it, telling him he said "that's why the dog didn't find it". A lot of people were lucky, that much is for sure!
When I was 13 (a really dumb age) my friend and I decided it would be fun to mess with my neighbor whom we did not like. We snuck out at night, put dirty cat litter (how lame) on their porch, painted the windows with a mixture of flour and water and stuck maxi-pads all over the house, which we thought was absolutely hilarious. My friend had spent the night at my house and the next morning her father called around 6 am screaming his head off at her, turns out the neighbor had watched us the whole time we were vandalizing her house. All of our laughing probably woke her up. Thankfully, the only thing that happened was that we had to clean up the mess we made, which was very embarrassing! No, I wasn't a bad kid, just a little spirited...and I was always the protagonist...still am.
How old is the cryogenic corn relish,and where do you get that polenta, I would like it spread on my bagels,very tasty i also like your african wine is it also full of meningitis? The rest is pretty basic stuff ,squid,saltpeter etc...
I got a girl pregnant when I was ten, just looking and hope-ing did it. She was 30 and for some reason gave me a woody, the 1st I remember. I'am sure I knocked her up with all that dreaming.
stutz my man i don't drink,
but maybe i will start when i find a bottle of the finest ouagadaugou reisling reserve.
No pregnancy fantasy ,it was the real thing and for a while many images went through my head. One of being a father . That scared the hell out of me . Even today to have a child is one major responsibility.
One would have to help it not to become a cretin racist like some person on glumbert. I won't mention names BBBut.
I think your menue was well thought out and creative . I would still like to get the spread for my toast in the morning. LOL
canadaman in order to get a woman pregnant you have to have actual intercourse feeling her fun-bags and blowing in your pants dose not count.
Another thing sweetheart -
"while many images went through my head" - how long till you stopped trying to shove polaroids through your ears?
"One of being a father" - you need testicles to produce sperm and you need sperm to impregnate a woman so that scary thought was redundant!
"One would have to help it not to become a cretin racist like some person on glumbert. I won't mention names BBBut." - very cryptic you're a mental giant firstly even if medical science could manage to retrieve a viable sperm from your under-developed testicles the cretin part well the kid has 50 50 chance on that.
Canadatranny - when will you learn to stand up on your own two feet you can't just deflect the heat my way when you get cornered and have no place to run mentioning me in the hope it will make them go away and seek me out dose not work never has.
question canadagirl when you say spring did you mean evolve but couldn't think of the word?
FYI my animal is a baboon which is a type of monkey not ape, apes do not have tails. YES canadaman I am a Baboon I have never denied it but the question still remains what are YOU?
b?b i can't understand why if a half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.You will never be able to live down your reputation on glumbert.Y ou are living proof that manure can grow legs and walk .Are you the first in your family born without a tail? I certainly hope you are sterile.
canadaman -
You are quite correct. My face is not my strong point. Botched surgery resulted in my features resembling a pair of buttocks. This causes some amusement to small children, and a degree of apprehension among adults.
However, a welcome upside to the treatment was that, because of another error during the grafting procedure, I have a penis that is 13" long and which remains erect for more than an hour at a time. This tends to make me quite popular in certain circles, and I don't mind at all wearing the bag over my head.
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