German Swimmer Beat Michael Phelps

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Views:62,825
First:ennui
1 year ago
fuck first
1 year ago
Hah! I'm new to this game of first but I'm pretty sure 5 in a row is a feat.
1 year ago
New to fucking too?
1 year ago
Oh I see what you did there.
1 year ago
Drivel.
1 year ago
Seemed fair enough to me.
1 year ago
Damn, I am totally confused.... how did the ladies with the sausages fit into this clip?
Is this some kind of weird German porno??!! I think so.
1 year ago
I came.
1 year ago
I once met a lady with sausage. I don't like to talk about it.............
1 year ago
I met a girl with a strap on sausage once.

I liked it.
1 year ago
Foolishness
1 year ago
stoopid
1 year ago
If it wasn't, nobody would deign to watch it.
1 year ago
I need a new enemy any takers?

To any of the newcomers just hate me now it saves wasting time.
1 year ago
I'll hate you if you like.
How much will you pay me?
1 year ago
Hey hey hey!

The German women sausages in this video remind me of the time when I was struggling actor and got an offer to star in a porno film.

Well! I was pretty broke and thought "What the hell, eh?" It might be fun.
I turned up at this old warehouse in Montreal and was met at the door by a guy that looked like a cross between Mike Tyson and a giant shit. He was quite polite though, and ushered me inside.
The producer was a guy called Shafter Bigcock, or at least that's what he said, although I suspect that wasn't his real name.
First thing I had to do was drop my pants for an inspection by Shafter and his "personal assistant" Lucille Cumbucket. She was very sweet and said that there was room in the movie for "someone with my size". I wasn't sure what that meant, but I found out pretty quick!

I didn't know it was a GAY porno movie! These four big black guys lined up behind me and proceeded to stick their cocks in my ass one after another. FUCK! It was painful, and not even a little pleasurable. I was crying by the time they'd finished, but Shafter said my acting skills were "out of this world" so I took something positive from the experience, as well as $100 for my time.

You know, people say there's a lot of exploitation in porno, but I'm not so sure. I became pretty good friends with all the black guys who sodomized me and occasionally have a drink with them. They call me "Squealer" and it's a nice feeling to be accepted by people from an ethnic minority.
1 year ago
Are you German by any chance??
1 year ago
No, but he IS
1 year ago
y'know, this "bit' of yours is creative, humorous....and yet, disturbing.

You have a set of smarts, and a writing talent....but also a side that tends toward a sick humor that may betray deep seated psychological disorders, which, as a friend, I feel I must intervene on a socially responible basis that allows me to be judgemental as well as condemnatory and superior to you, at least in my own mind, as I confront you with your issues....so here goes - seek help.

(But if you don't and until you do, which would doubtless screw up your creative muses, I will continue to laugh at your stuff.)
1 year ago
mmmmm shut your mouuuutthhh
1 year ago
...Lucky that EP wasn't one of those four black guys.
1 year ago
FORGET THAT MICHALE WON!

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