ya know what.....I wanna call it fake....I really wanna call it fake. No.1 I was that geeky girl at 13 wanting to be famous and pretty (which that girl wa.....and being pretty isn't all it's cracked up to be!) No. 2 Isn't this kinda borderline pedophilia?.......Now, finally on a lighter note.....that dog was fuckin' funny!!!!!!
this is plain disgusting. my daddy would never make a film like this, and he was pretty weird with the coyotes and all. he took some pictures of me and my sisters playing with squirrels but nothing like this.
Nothing to see here, just the old 13year_old_girl_dancing_like_a_striper_wille_a_dog_is_raping_a_stuffed_snake_in_the_background routine... *_* I'm going to wash my eyes now
Congratulations to Herr Mako on his mighty three first posts. You must have ze eyes of ze eagle to achieve zis. "Respect", as our coloured cousins say.
Ze video itself reminds me of ein kvite amusing incident involving two young vild armadilloes und ein hedgehog, vitnessed by ze guests at ze Mayor of Buenos Aires's garden party in 1978.
Ze humping vos of kvite cataclysmic proportions, und ze hedgehog unfortunately died as a result of ze ardent beasts' attentions. Despite rolling itself into ein defensive ball, ze unfortunate creature vos crushed beneath ze scaly rapists vithin minutes.
Ze Mayor's vife loudly exclaimed: "Never haf I seen so many pricks in von place!" Her husband, understandably embarrassed by his spouse's ouburst, had her removed from ze company by his bodyguards, und she has never been seen again.
Ze armadilloes made off into ze untergrowth, trumpeting und bellowing, und ze hedgehog vos fed to ze Mayor's dobermans.
Ah, nature in ze raw....
Danke Herr Vanka, but zis voz merely eine bit of guten luck!
Ahh to hear of your Garten party und your fortune in observing nature red in tooth und claw (or scale und prick in zis case) makes von feel so very alive
I trust zee breeding cows are fecund und zee bulls are fucken! Tell me does von sell zee armadillo itself or simply skin zem und sell zee hide und meat?
Nein. I vish, as ze Americans say.... As you vill know, zis time of year is ein busy von for armadillo farmers, as ze cows are laying ze eggs. Most of mein time is spent making sure ze beasts are comfortable in zere stalls, und I haf had to neglect ze two loves of mein life - Conchita und Glumbert.
Ze poor girl cries out for me in ze night in zat little pathetic voice - "Mein fuhrer, mein fuhrer! I haf ze hots big time for you! Come to mein bedchamber und make vith ze rumpt pumpy!"
But duty comes first, und I must tend to ze animals. She has threatened to call off ze vedding und go back to her Latin lover Pedro, but I tell her - "Little von, zis sing is bigger zan both of us. Vithout ze armadilloes I vould be penniless und zen vere vould you be? Back in ze slums von Guadalajara where I found you! Now stop your nonsense und mix me ein Harvey Vallbanger!"
Zis never fails. Treat zem rough, Herr Skidmarks, und zey are like ze putty in your hands!
Ingredients: Two Live Armadillos, preferably ones named "Hymie" and "Shlomo" One bottle of Jagermeister High John the Conqueror Root, finely chopped One cup of Pampas grass, pureed Powdered Rhinoceros horn Soiled Lederhosen Anchovies, to taste
Parboil armadillos as one would a lobster. Bring five gallons of Tierra del Fuego water to a rolling boil in a triple size Dutch Oven; insert live armadillos, assuring them a vigorous steam bath will do them good. Cover and ignore their high-pitched screams. When death agony has abated, drain pot and cover 'dillos in Jagermeister. Add the roots, grass, and powder and simmer for a fortnight, or until shells dissolve. Meat should be firm but giving at the point of your ceremonial sword. Make a shish-kebab of 'dillo kidneys, liver, and Isle of Langerhans; spit-roast over a fire of Barbie Dolls. Save genitalia and tongue for a deep-fried aphrodisiac appetizer. Place meal on Lederhosen and serve hot.
Must be served to your uniformed guests by scantily clad servant girls in torn and bloody garb, their breasts and pudendas covered in anchovies.
Suggested wine: Sudatenland Riesling 1938 Dessert: Gold Teeth Jubilee with Black Forest Gypsy Corpse Tart.
A perfect restorative after a hard day on a death squad, or before a Black Mass. This recipe created by Wolfgang Ficken, trusted refugee sous chef.
-Lord Stutz, Former Liason to the German High Command
I think you are referring to the saying treat them mean keep them keen !!
well if conchita knows what side her bread is buttered she will hang around.
I once dated my best friends sister, she was spanish, the problem was she looked to much like her brother, this was disturbing, i had to call the whole thing off , most irritating she was beauty, her brother was beauty as well in a manly way but he had bollocks and had a beard
This is one goal of the internets... Supplying the future with plenty of sluts. In ten or so more years she'll be in a completely different yet strangely similar video.
Zis is ein recipe of vich I haf never heard, but it sounds kvite tasty!
To answer ze kvestions on vot ve do vith ze armadilloes - ze meat is of course sold after ze beasts are slaughtered und is eaten, mainly by ze lower classes as it is kvite tough. Ze main purpose of breeding ze creatures is, of course, for zere shells. Ein number of sings can be made from zem, including hip baths, spectacular hats, plant holders, salad bowls, foot scrapers, lampshades, boats for small boys und ein myriad ozzers.
Ze market is buoyant at ze moment, und investors could do vorse zan put zere cash into mein enterprise. Herr Canuck expressed interest some time ago, but I sink ze Patagonian climate put him off being ein "hands on" partner.
For as little as $50,000 you can be ein armadillo farmer! Impress your friends! Be ze talk of ze town! Make money in your spare time!
Herr Vanka, many sanks for zee advice on zee 'dillo farming investment opportunities.
I must respectfully decline your fine offer as my mekong catfish farm takes up much of my time. Zeez beasts make fine eating und grow to eine enourmous size so of course provision of sufficient fooder makes for eine tough job.
Zee catfish find stray dogs und errant children most delectable so of course discretion is of zee utmost vewn collecting ze feed. Of course if zee bull 'dillos become too frisky und agressive, or haf merely come to (excuse zee pun) to zee end of zere usefull stud life, do arrange for mein manservant ficklestein to collect zem.
Zee catfish like somesink crunchy vonce in vile, und calcium und keratin is eine important component of zere diet. I vill of course pay top peso und cover zee shipping
Danke for ze replies. As far as Herr Stutz is concerned - I do not know ze man, but as I haf said already, he seems ein educated chap but zere are von or two mistakes in an ozzervise perfect und highly amusing post vich only ein old pedant like meinself vould notice.
Ze correct term is ze "Islets of Langerhand", und he has spelled Sudetenland und liaison wrongly. I vould be pleased to meet him. Perhaps he is interested in mein business offer?
I sink he is ein American. "Appetizer" mit ein "z" is ein giveaway.
Vonce again, I can assure you I use no aliases. It is kvite difficult enough posting as meinself!
I'll give you surreal...I'm driving home last night, on a two lane highway, and some moron in a rusty truck, doing 60 mph, blows a stop sign right in front of me (think I heard a clang from our bumpers) so I get all pissed off and decided to go after this fool and see wtf the deal with that was...as I'm catching up to him, he veers right over some brush and HITS A F-ING TREE AND CATCHES FIRE!!! So now I find myself (after wanting to kick his ass) pulling him out of his truck. This old dude was so drunk, he couldn't stand up! Now for the surreal part...when the State boys show up to handle the situation, I find myself being put through the ringer! After informing them I'm armed (legally) they got all on me about turning around and going after the moron, saying I should've "just let it go"!!! I finally got it through their heads that I was only trying to get a plate number, because I was sure the guy was drunk (he was, blew a .027) and he crashed way ahead of me(I wasn't chasing him) Next time I'll get out the dv camera, do nothing and get a great film for YouTube, or maybe Glumbert! OK I've vented, I feel better now, time to go watch the Space Shuttle launch!
Miter - Just like the cops (Sorry canuck), but in their view, he who reports a crime has committed the crime. I never get this line of thinking on their part. I guess it is true sometimes, but I bet most of the time it isn't.
It has gotten to the point where if your house is burglarized, you stop and think do I really want to be hassled or arrested by the cops?
The world is all upside down sometimes.
I was driving through the snow one morning, and two cars run the stop sign right in front of me as I was doing about 55. They each took a lane and I had a choice to hit either of them, or veer into the left turn lane and try to brake. Well there was wet sand on the road and I lofted my little pinto hatchback (the exploding kind) right over the keep left sign and up over the guard rails onto the opposing lane of traffic.
I got the car started and turned around pushing the destroyed right front wheel back to the intersection and pulled off the road before the oncoming traffic hit me. I pulled the keep left sign out from under the car, and put it in the back, drove to the nearby police station reported the incident, and said to the officer, I have your keep left sign, do you want it? He said stick it in the show bank out back with all the others.
It was amazing how many mutilated twisted signs were sticking out of the snow!
I got the car fixed but it was never the same. But at least it didn't burst into flames.
Sounds like you dodged the reaper that day! The Pinto! Oh yeah, the good ole days, a girlfriend had the one in the quite lovely yellow putty baby shit color. That car took more abuse and kept on going! While I had one of the first Subaru wagons in the US. (my grandpa brought them over and was told they would never sell lol) Talk about a car that took some abuse! The main issue with the law is, they know the law, while us mere civilians mostly don't, and want to argue about it! I'm sure for them it's get real old!
I'm so sorry for what you experienced....but it happens all the time. I wasn't foolin' when I said I witnessed an attack at the restaurant I worked. The cook attacked the delivery driver with a knife (at the end of it all, stabbed him multiple times, and yes I feel like a major tool for not stopping him, I was a few feet away, I could have protected him, I could have at least stood between them and taken the brunt.....anyhow I digress) The point is over 2 years I had to appear in court as a witness (pre-trial and during trial) because (like a complete IDIOT) I had to be an honest, caring, trusting citizen who wanted to do the right thing......I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IF YOU SEE A CRIME COMMITED THAT DOESN"T INVOLVE A CHILD OR A LOVED ONE PLAY DUMB......I was a witness and they crucified me (the defense lawyer specifically) and the entire judicial process. I lost wages, I lost faith in common decency.........I lost faith in DOING THE RIGHT THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and that's not me....so there you have it. See my big caps above and listen....turn away....unless it's major, it's not worth it......The guys at the restaurant got in a fight over a girl and by their own definition, and I quote "what's the big fuss...this is how we deal with these things where we grew up"........and because I live in Canada I went through crap for NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Certain people are programmed to act certain ways. I find that many people are often paralyzed by fear or not knowing what to do in many situations.
People who are prone to help are probably going to try to do the right thing.
I don't think women should be expected to step into the middle of a dangerous situation. Unless you hit him in the back with a weapon a male will more than likely overpower you.
What frustrates me as I have seen things go on where people just stand there and not know what to do. For instance, I was informed some older person fell down an escalator and paramedics needed to be called. I got to the area shortly after it happened and several people were just standing there watching. I had to direct a few people, get some paper towel, gloves, and apply pressure to the foot long gash on her leg while she applied pressure to the 5-6 inch gash on her head. By the time I got there there was already giant clumps of blood on the floor where it was coagulating and no one helping. Then an employee of another company is standing there saying, "That doesn't look good That looks like it hurts." No shit. Let's try to put her into shock.
Another situation where I wouldn't expect females to help, but would have been nice is males trying to help is I was in a bar with quite a few people and at the table behind me a man tackled another man out of his wheelchair. (Kinda funny but not). I was the only one to jump into action. This guy was significantly bigger than me. I grabbed him around his collar from behind him while he was still on the ground and dragged him towards the door. It took 15-20 seconds before the bar staff helped.
That suck's riza! But I don't think getting into a knife fight with out one is a good idea!
UDB Your "woman shouldn't" angle is not a very valid one, I have two "petite" women in my karate class, that are cute little unassuming girls, that are 3rd and 4th degree black belts. What they are capable of doing (in defense) is jaw dropping...literally! You're a good person to help that lady, it takes what a lot of people don't have to do that!
Here in the USA, the majority of anyway, if you're not a criminal or drunk/druggie, we are able to be armed with a concealed weapon (pistol) that greatly evens the playing field in a life or death situation, like what riza described, that would've been a good time for the ole pistola to come out, if not to stop the assault, then to end it.
To bad this isn't on a newer vid post, cuz I just know it would've started quite the discussion!
The thing is women need to know their limits. If they have no training whatsoever then a lucky shot is gonna be what it takes otherwise she may be dead as well. It was probably better that she did nothing. A man should have done something and pounced at the right opportunity.
If your gonna roll the dice then you may get whats coming. Those petite girls may know karate, but against someone versed in wrestling or ground-and-pound, karate is not as useful as it is on the feet (may spark a debate). You never know who your picking a fight with.
While I have had some karate experience in the past, it would take a bull dyke of a woman to take me out in a real fight. Sparring is one thing, but an actual fight is another.
Like ein alcoholic who reaches his rock bottom, you haf made ze first step to recovery by asking for help.
Unfortunately, I cannot offer any, because I am ein Dumkopf armadillo farmer vith vot ze popular press call "ein murky past".
Perhaps Glumberters who cannot stop posting stupid comments should sink about forming ein support group vith ein 12 step recovery programme. Members could introduce zemselves along ze lines of "Mein name is........und I am ein Glumbert Stupidposter."
Zen zere could be ein velcome und ein big group cuddle vith cups of tea, biscuits und much identification und empathy.
Ze chairman could say "Remember, it does not have to be zis vay," or "You are not alone," or some ozzer hideous platitude.
In your veakened state of resistance, you vould be cured forever of ze stupid posting und live happily ever after - ein day at ein time of course.
Ze only problem vith zis soultion is zat novone vould ever post anysink interesting on Glumbert ever again und I vould haf to speak to Conchita in ze evenings or abuse meinself instead of reading ze postings of mein comrades.
ROLLING ON FLOOR LAUGHING MY ASS OFF LOL dude i really started to laugh when she picked up the fucking toy snake ROFL! HAHA if she only knew, AND
2nD OF ALL WHAT THE FUCK! THIS BITCH MUST BE 12 AND WTF DANCING LIKE THAT N SHIT I WOULD LAY THE OWNZOR ON HER NOOB ASS JESUS CHRIST THIS WORLDS GOING TO HELL
snake toy, snake toy, hump snake, what was that, am hungry, play ball, run around, run around, chase snake toy, what was that, woof, woof, am sleepy now, going beddies
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