Animal Phone

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Views:10,698
1 year ago
1 year ago
your armadillos demise was NOT an accident, I am on your trail. You know who I am yes?
1 year ago
What's up Adolf-dude?? Sorry, just watched the cop vid again....
1 year ago
I was about to write this video off, but the chicken chase was cute.
1 year ago
Notice how it was the black guy who had the chicken...
1 year ago
mmmm! chicken the OTHER white meat -

Im usually a vegetarian. But man cannot live on bread rolls alone.
1 year ago
whatever
1 year ago
Zis is not as ridiculous as it may seem.
Ve used to sell many armadillo shell telephones in ze old days. Some of zem flashed in many colours ven zey rang, und some had ze Horst Wessel song on ze answer message.
Ve sold as many as four per year!
1 year ago
Adolf, you never cease to fascinate me with your 'stories'....
1 year ago
any in stock now?
1 year ago
your armadillos demise was NOT an accident, I am on your trail. You know who I am yes?
1 year ago
Kaufman!

Stop it. Concentrate on Iran and Syria please.
1 year ago
My fisher cat is ringing and I don't want to pick up, getting the messages is hard too.
1 year ago
No worries, I'm sure she'll leave you a message!!!
1 year ago
I fear not Herr Gymyg.
Chief One Ball Prolapse of ze Cheyenne Nation blew ze last von to pieces vith mein Luger!
1 year ago
that one ball is having all the fun!
1 year ago
Jellyfish phone...

Or the last call you ever gone make: Tiger phone.
1 year ago
How 'bout the angry badger phone? Only answer that sucker once.
1 year ago
jelly thats good,what about sea erchin(sp)
1 year ago
Clam phone, can be used as a clip-on
1 year ago
bearded clam phone, clip on eat out.
1 year ago
Leech phone, one you never forget at home.
1 year ago
Holy hoppin husker fan...
1 year ago
That was strange.
1 year ago
Herr Kaufman!
Ve meet again. How is ze lovely Frau Kaufman? Still vandering ze Reeperbahn to pay ze bills you left ven you left on your futile kvest for Bormann?
1 year ago
Adolf my real wife is Daphna we met in Israel as for Frau she was a Mossad agent the poor lass needed much counselling after her encounters with you although she got some good intel from you your constant requests for %u201Cgolden showers%u201D had its toll on her. She still has nightmares in the dead of the night - she can still hear your squeals of delight as she urinated on you and had to scream heil führer.
1 year ago
Adolf my real wife is Daphna we met in Israel as for Frau she was a Mossad agent the poor lass needed much counselling after her encounters with you although she got some good intel from you your constant requests for "golden showers" had its toll on her. She still has nightmares in the dead of the night - she can still hear your squeals of delight as she urinated on you and had to scream heil fuhrer.
1 year ago
You need to back off this man! You need to stand down now!
1 year ago
ADOLFVANKER i have been ordered to conduct covert surveillance on "bobby" he is a criminal mastermind do not let his simpleton appearance deceive you - I am willing to forgo my duties if you could - say introduce me to the wonderful Mrs Pumpernickel's daughter or provide say(wink wink) shady hidden camera photo's of her bathing and dare I say it toilet actions be provided. I know you are a connoisseur of such fetishes (may I remind you of miss Frau)!!

What say you???
1 year ago
Adolf my real wife is Daphna we met in Israel as for Frau she was a Mossad agent the poor lass needed much counselling after her encounters with you although she got some good intel from you your constant requests for "golden showers" had its toll on her. She still has nightmares in the dead of the night - she can still hear your squeals of delight as she urinated on you and had to scream heil fuhrer.
1 year ago
so whats your unreal wife's name?
1 year ago
gymyg my "unreal" wife's name was Frau (as Adolf rightly remembers) she was an agent posing as my wife I know this can be confusing for a civilian.
1 year ago
Herr Kaufman!

I believe you are confusing me vith somevon else.
1 year ago
avnerkaufman is my superior and mentor we dont make mistakes
1 year ago
Earlier you invited me to your website www.adolfvanker.com I have since visited it.

I believe living there is punishment enough for you. You will no longer be hunted.

PS. great blog well done and very funny.
1 year ago
Thanks for the invite been there and enjoyed it (your pict blows your cover) good luck in the Wyoming State Championship Chili Contest.
1 year ago
You! Yes you, you have been called back to Marrakech!
1 year ago
This case has been handed over to me, for I am truly...
1 year ago
shit
1 year ago
I have more time on this case then all of you! Just click on the name and it will prove that I, and only I am the real deal.
1 year ago
Ah, well, ah, you guys know this is all in fun right? Right?
1 year ago
"themossad" you have been banished to the westbank to do border duty, mossadgent will escort you (you have blown your cover) may the star of david illuminate your path!!
1 year ago
Lets go "themossad" I dont want use this goldplated Desert Eagle but I will if the need arises
1 year ago
You men have yet to adhere to direct orders that both received in Morocco.
Its filtered back to HQ that one if not both of you have gone Rouge?

After removing the Rouge from your faces, we will then find out if one of you went Rogue!
(note)
Adofvanker is to important in giving specific information coming out of chugwater! We have spent a great deal of time and money to place him in a position of meager importance,not to have it all blow up in our faces!!!

Chugwater may be the next breeding ground for local terror symps , and if thats so we want this man at the forefront and in a position to gather valuable intel on (what we believe to be) THE ....... GROUP!

So you can see the value of Herr Adolfvanker, and if you will now lower your weapons gentleman I can continue on "our" mission!
1 year ago
You may be the real deal but I outrank you.

Now cease and desist immediately - you draw unwanted attention to our efforts

Oiyvay!
1 year ago
Where's the porcupine, hedgehog, or electric eel phone?
1 year ago
Herr Kaufman und Herr Mossadagent!

Like all mein countrymen, I apologise for ze var. I hope ve can move on. You are both velcome to visit me in Chugwater. Vot vill be vill be. I make no pleas, only zat if you must carry out your mission, novon in Chugwater vill be harmed.
Adolf.
1 year ago
ADOLFVANKER i have been ordered to conduct covert surveillance on "bobby" he is a criminal mastermind do not let his simpleton appearance deceive you - I am willing to forgo my duties if you could - say introduce me to the wonderful Mrs Pumpernickel's daughter or provide say(wink wink) shady hidden camera photo's of her bathing and dare I say it toilet actions be provided. I know you are a connoisseur of such fetishes (may I remind you of miss Frau)!!

What say you???
1 year ago
Covert means not telling anyone about it. Keep it so.

Good things! Good things!
1 year ago
File this one under STUPID VIDEO's.
1 year ago
I have
1 year ago
Beware the man who putteth the buttocks of a beast to his ear.
He is unclean and heareth nought but the word of Satan.
For a beast's buttocks are not clean and spreadeth disease upon the face of the Earth.
No good will come of this.
shitfaces
1 year ago
Gods good to see ur unsual posts like always Glumbert wouldnt be the same place without ya but u have yet to answer question and that is what is your views and inputs on the religion section of this movie i anxiously wait for a reply
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/
1 year ago
godswrath:

....damned are those who posture and
expound as false judges of others
and are errant reporters of the truth,
for they shall suffer the exquisite agonies
prepared for them by the dark angel

Blivet.
1 year ago
planettint.

I watched http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/. Do you believe any of it?
1 year ago
Yes gotcha i believe parts of the movie especially the religion part there is lots of good points there why does god have such a problem with money id like to think theres a guy sitting in space waiting for us but it is a little far fetched
1 year ago
planet the religion part fair enough but the rest?

How could anyone get away with all that and not be held accountable, if half of it was true surely someone would be arrested or at the least investigated and or exposed by some government authority either domestic or international. ( the soviets would have had a great propaganda tool during the the "cold war")
1 year ago
this video was soo stupid...well, not entirely. the best part was the worm headset.
1 year ago
Godswrath...sorry....let me translate to your language:

....damnedeth are thothe who postureth and expoundeth ath falthe judgeth of otherth, and areth errant reporterth of the trutheth, for they thyall suffereth the exquithit agonieth prepared for themth by the dark angelth.

Bliveth.

Absolute...I agree re: the video...but the posts have been pretty amusing.
1 year ago
This is just terrible. Don't these people and pets have better things to do?
1 year ago
Herr Mossadagent!

Vot ein coincidence! A picture of Mrs Pumpernickel's daughter has appeared in ein Israeli magazine.
I haf posted it on mein blog www.adolfvanker.com

I hope you like it!
1 year ago
Ah Adolf my once inimical nemesis with this hospitable gesture I can no longer hate you with total disdain. For you have given/found me such an exquisite creature to dream of. I have printed the picture and it as been laminated (for obvious reasons). I have also ordered a copy of Zionist Onanist the %u201Clads%u201D magazine you referred to @ www.adofvanker.com (it deserves a plug). My hands tremble with anticipation. I will cease the covert surveillance of %u201CBobby%u201D the criminal mastermind (for now). Could I be so bold as to ask the name of Mrs Pumpernickel's daughter it would make the viewing of her that much more intimate? Yours forever grateful (for now) Mossadagent.
1 year ago
Ah Adolf my once inimical nemesis with this hospitable gesture I can no longer hate you with total disdain. For you have given/found me such an exquisite creature to dream of. I have printed the picture and it as been laminated (for obvious reasons). I have ordered a copy of Zionist Onanist the %u201Clads%u201D magazine you referred to @ www.adofvanker.com (it deserves a plug). My hands tremble with anticipation. I will cease the covert surveillance of "Bobby" the criminal mastermind (for now). Could I be so bold as to ask the name of Mrs Pumpernickel's daughter it would make the viewing of her that much more intimate?

Yours forever grateful (for now) Mossadagent.

ignore above
1 year ago
Watching.... Waiting ... The agent iloveballs AKA brownlove will be assisting you in your duties as soon as heshe arrives, Please fill..err I mean cooperate in anyway you can !
1 year ago
Hi themossad just wanted 2 thankyou for last night I did not know you could hold your breath for so long anyways don't worry about the premature e*********n thingy it happens 2 the best of us look forward 2 seeing you 2morrow night stop fretting I promise 2 show up.

BTW I had your g-string washed hope u don't mind but they were a bit grungy.

PS. g-stings r so yesterday.
1 year ago
This has been noted on our files
1 year ago
Herr Mossadagent!

Novon has ever spoken Mrs Pumpernickel's daughter's name. It is some sort of Chugwater tradition vich dates back to ze time of ze cave paintings.
1 year ago
mossad this and massod that its getting really old cant we all just be friends.

Make love not war.. *waiving a rainbow flag*

PS. KEEP ME OUT OF YOUR SILLY GAMES.

(Private note 2 themossad) sept u the mossad last night was 2 good 2 stop see u later oh and dont forget 2 return the strapon I promise i'll get u a knew 1.
xoxoxox lots of hugs and kisses.

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